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overcoming the fear
Dec. 8th, 2009 11:24 pmI have been poked and probed much in the last few months. Blood has been drawn, fingers have been poked. It might seem not too bad compared to others, but for those who have known me since young would know what a huge milestone I have overcome!
If you ask my mother if I was naughty/mischevious, or gave a lot of trouble, she would respond with saying that I was a great gal, except for two things, eating and going to the doctor. I just wouldn't eat apparently.
The second thing was going to the doctor's! Mostly out of fear of needles. I would be that kid you would need to drag kicking and screaming. Every summer we would need to get malaria shots, and that was a huge endeavour. One would think that I would have gotten used to it after the 10th year. The screaming stopped but not the crying. Apparently I would walk around holding my left shoulder, feeling it swollen in pain, a month before the shots were even given!!!
I did manage to overcome the fear when they had to prick me 23 times to find out what I might be allergic to when I was 12 years old. Mom was so shocked that I didn't shed one tear that she nearly fainted. I nearly fainted though, when I had to go get a blood test done on an empty stomach. Apparently, you don't do so well when you are underweight, fasting, and a whole test tube of blood is taken! But even that I did well, and mom didn't need to tag along, dad did - another accomplishments, as I somehow wouldn't let anyone but mom be my side.
When I went to college on my own in Hawai'i, the first semester we were there we needed to get TB shots (I don't remember the name of the vaccine, but it was a two dose shot). They were giving it free as the college seemed to have a trend of losing two international students to TB every year! So, everyone needed to be tested.
And there I went, into this big auditorium in line with several hundred students all in line filling out forms. I was too embarassed to tell my friends of my fear, and none of them were international students, and so went alone. I gripped the chair so hard and I remembered being so very afraid. That was in itself a milestone! The second shot wasn't so bad!
And yesterday, I went for a follow up blood test. A test-tube full and I didn't flinch one bit! A point the nurse had observed. I still can't look at her poking the needle in, but once it's in I am able to get the courage to take a peek - just a brief glance.
Yes, I am proud! I just hope that my kid doesn't end up being scared of everything as I was in my life! sigh... I am grateful to have a mother who always encouraged me to give life a try and gave me the courage that I needed to face the world. I hope if I do get a child like me that I have the same courage to be there for my little one!
If you ask my mother if I was naughty/mischevious, or gave a lot of trouble, she would respond with saying that I was a great gal, except for two things, eating and going to the doctor. I just wouldn't eat apparently.
The second thing was going to the doctor's! Mostly out of fear of needles. I would be that kid you would need to drag kicking and screaming. Every summer we would need to get malaria shots, and that was a huge endeavour. One would think that I would have gotten used to it after the 10th year. The screaming stopped but not the crying. Apparently I would walk around holding my left shoulder, feeling it swollen in pain, a month before the shots were even given!!!
I did manage to overcome the fear when they had to prick me 23 times to find out what I might be allergic to when I was 12 years old. Mom was so shocked that I didn't shed one tear that she nearly fainted. I nearly fainted though, when I had to go get a blood test done on an empty stomach. Apparently, you don't do so well when you are underweight, fasting, and a whole test tube of blood is taken! But even that I did well, and mom didn't need to tag along, dad did - another accomplishments, as I somehow wouldn't let anyone but mom be my side.
When I went to college on my own in Hawai'i, the first semester we were there we needed to get TB shots (I don't remember the name of the vaccine, but it was a two dose shot). They were giving it free as the college seemed to have a trend of losing two international students to TB every year! So, everyone needed to be tested.
And there I went, into this big auditorium in line with several hundred students all in line filling out forms. I was too embarassed to tell my friends of my fear, and none of them were international students, and so went alone. I gripped the chair so hard and I remembered being so very afraid. That was in itself a milestone! The second shot wasn't so bad!
And yesterday, I went for a follow up blood test. A test-tube full and I didn't flinch one bit! A point the nurse had observed. I still can't look at her poking the needle in, but once it's in I am able to get the courage to take a peek - just a brief glance.
Yes, I am proud! I just hope that my kid doesn't end up being scared of everything as I was in my life! sigh... I am grateful to have a mother who always encouraged me to give life a try and gave me the courage that I needed to face the world. I hope if I do get a child like me that I have the same courage to be there for my little one!
