The Adventures of the Little Indian Girl

See this I don't understand. Daughter's in bed rubbing eyes, fighting sleep but stays put and not a sound is made for nearly 45 minutes. You think you can breathe again and throw some wild parties! And then the door opens, a pitter-patter is heard, eyes blasted with the bright light outside and her biggest concern of the moment, "mommy, you told me tomorrow's plan. But what are we doing day after tomorrow?"

So innocently, so sweetly she asks. And I am stumped. I want to cry. But this little darling spent the last 45 minutes of her time processing everything. I always forget not to get her excited about the next day. I know, I never can settle down. But she gets greedy and wants to know the day after. I have no plans. Day after, she goes to camp, I go to office. Maybe we'll go see M&M - I didn't tell her the last bit because she will latch on to it and call him & his mom tomorrow and confirm it!

Did I mention she calls her friends now during the day because it's night in India and in the mornings she calls her grandparents and her aunt/my sis?! She has already asked for a phone for herself - we said we will revisit when she is 12.

And just in less than a minute she was out. sigh.

I don't know if I ever noted this down. Several months ago, our neighbor down the corridor had knocked on our door. He is a very friendly neighbour and had shared with us his story of visiting India (a Church missionary tour) and was looking forward to going back again.

He had knocked the door one evening to share that a friend of his who had hosted him during his trip to India is visiting him for a few days and would like us to meet (because we are also Indians). We were happy to oblige. I guess I was caught off-guard and invited him over but never mentioned anything about food...sorry, haven't lost all my Asian-ness.

So, I prepared some light meal (anyway, we had to have dinner!! :P).

It turned out to be a wonderful evening. D enjoyed Dave's company and the friend he brought along. It turns out he grew up under the bridge where my in-laws live in Mumbai. We of course, took that it was some house by the bridge, but no. He's an orphan to escaped Kochi orphanage and got on a train that happened to be heading to Mumbai! One of the million street children! He eventually returned to the orphanage and took some classes, and began to teach, and moved up in life. An inspiring story.

He picked the worse off place in India, with his wife has opened a school with shelter (hostel) and has now about 6-7 kids staying in the shelter.

During their visit, and coincidently during this conversation, it was D's bedtime. She declared she would go put herself to bed. We were going through one of those stages where she would lay in bed for half hour singing and playing away in bed. She would ask us to close the door and turn off the light.

He continued to share that any child taken in under 2 years of age, shares their home. And their bed. They don't do what is done here, own bed, own room, "independence". Dave asked why. N & I stayed quiet. Simply put, they as parents know their child is safe, but the child has no idea. No fancy gadgets, games, monitors, can fill the space of a parent (mother or father or any caring adult) to make the child feel safe. He remembers the scary nights all alone in a room at night where the orphanage was understaffed and no one would come to calm their fears at night. It was a safe place, but for them the monsters made it bad. Their imaginations ran wild. Sure as an adult those nights don't affect him but he feels no child should need to go through that at least not at home. The world is a scary place, as he has seen first hand.

I remember him every time I hear anyone so freely and casually dish out the advice of let the child cry-it-out. The ones that drive me up the wall are pediatricians. There's no research to back this up. And fine if you do recommend the advice, give a handout of how to properly do it. Or if you decide to give parenting advice, give the different methods for parents to choose from. But no, people just throw it around as if it's teaching your kid riding a bicycle and it's the only "responsible" way!

Someone the other day in my friend's group said those who don't do it are just spoiling the child and being lazy. wow... they really think feeling sleep deprived for 28 months is fun and taking the easy way out?! But the funny thing, even the parents who used CIO still complain about their kids getting up at night. So, exactly how is it working??

Anyhow, this has turned into a rant...it was not meant to be. I hope there are more inspiring stories as the man's. He has two children of his own and he has adopted one more. And I wish his school does well. It's only 2 years old and slowly growing.

Why does she fight it with such vengeance?! Every day it's a battle. It's all out war on some. One would think we are forcing her to do something atrocious. When all we want is for her to sleep, when she clearly is exhausted and sleep deprived. We try to be proactive and get her into the routine and now she doesn't touch anything that reminds her of the routine. ugghh... naps are just as crazy, but it's a tad bit easier, a little story and sleep.

How did she end up being my daughter where all I needed was a pat on the back. I would/could/and still can sleep anywhere, anytime without any problem.

So, obviously I blame my husband's genes. *evil grin*

Thursday night I got unnecessarily excited. D hadn't napped and so obviously she would go to bed early. And silly me announced it to hubby in front of her! It would be movie night for two of us!

Well, D had other plans. She kept herself busy with so many house chores! She didn't appear to be one bit tired though. But I was determined, foolishly really. She played along. We spent half an hour trying to sleep - which meant I just sit by the side of the bed while she tries to sleep.

I got tired and I said I was going to bed. She started a ruckus (happy one)! She got down, called dad over and declared that N's big queen sized fleece blanket is hers and she would be sleeping in his spot on the big bed! She did try getting under the covers. Then she remembered her bed. So, she lugged the big blanket over to hers and pretended to sleep.

Hubby couldn't figure out how to get his blanket back. I got in my spot of the bed, pretending to sleep. They both began a tug of war with the blanket! It was ridiculously funny that would only end with tears. I ordered (playfully) N to go to bed. I shared with D that poor dad is feeling cold and would like to sleep and left it at that.  She sat quietly wondering what to do. A minute passed.

She then got down lugged the blanket over, covered him up to the best of her ability but only managed the top half and his legs were still exposed. She then went to her bed, got her blanket and covered his legs. She then came to my side, fixed up my blanket and made sure I was all tucked in and not cold and ordered us both to sleep.

She got on the bed and sat between us and sang us a lullaby, kept reminding us not to laugh (as we really couldn't hold it in) and to close eyes to sleep! She went on for 30-40 minutes this way! We did try to pretend to fall asleep. Well, we had no choice. If we as much as tried to peak a glimpse at her she would promptly poke our eyes to get them to close! Since, obviously she needed to show how to do it since we can't follow simple directions.

It was sweet. And finally she got into her bed and slept off. 15 hours after getting up! 

India WON!!! the ICC World 2011!!!!!!!!! After 28 years!!!!! And what a win it was!!! Sri Lanka played brilliantly and India truly earned the win! We watched it a friend's place and we were thinking it was almost over for India when Sehwag was out in the 3rd ball thrown and Sachin was dismissed after 18 runs (he is the key star player - national treasure)!! But wow.... Dhoni, Gambhir, Yuvraj.... they played well! What a match!!

1983 was the last time India brought the world cup home. My parents, sis and I were in London at the time. We were flying to Brasilia and dad promised mom a good Indian meal as there would be none in Brazil. We apparently fought a lot of traffic and with great difficulty found an Indian restaurant. We were tired, we were hungry and it turned out to be the night of the World Cup finals. They had to beg the waiters to bring the food as everyone from the cook to the busboy were watching the game! 

Talking about food, we had taken upma with us to share and N cooked it. It turned out to be delicious! Everyone assumed that I made it. It's always the woman isn't it. I hope this over time changes - the assumption that it's the woman who always cooks.

What was D doing? Well, she played around the living room for a while and she slept the last hour and half of the game - sound asleep even with all of us shouting away!! now why does she awaken at every little noise when we are home?!!

Wish all on LJ land a very happy new year!! 

We brought in the new year quietly at home on the couch watching the Times Square Ball fall...actually I almost went to bed... but since it was 11:45pm, I stayed up with hubby, turned on the TV and brought in the new year! D went to bed her usual time and got up her usual time. We had spent the day at a friend's place and had relaxing evening home.

Our first day of the year was nice and a lazy Saturday! We actually got out of bed at 10am!! Because little D actually slept in!!! She woke up her usual 6am, fed and slept and then woke up at 8am fed and slept!! Of course, by 5:30am she was in bed with us. We spent the last hour just watching her sleep and waiting for her to wake up. The first few moments in the morning with her are just priceless as she looks up at us and the surroundings as if it's for the first time!!! Just precious!

The reason she slept in? At 3ish in the morning I caught her in the crib playing with the teddy bear...I really don't know how long she was up for. Reminds me to take it out of the crib tonight. We just kept it there all these months and she never noticed it. ah little one is growing up!!

Anyhow... I was amused!!

Day 21 – Another moment
Right now....when the clock strikes one hour since D's been asleep. It's a moment of suspense that no Hollywood movie can recreate. Will she sleep through or will she awake? Only the ticking clock will tell. A moment at a time, we live these days.

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Little one has consistently been sleeping between 8-9pm for the last week!! Now I find myself wondering what I am going to do with this time. When I am busy with the baby I think of so many things to do. Now that I am actually sitting with the time all I can think about is sleep!