The Adventures of the Little Indian Girl

Day 2: In my hand

When I first came to the US for college and landed in Hawai'i, I read somewhere in some guidebook that mango was classified as a poisonous fruit! I was flabbergasted! The king of fruits is poisonous?

Right! Love of mangos and childhood in India are so strongly intertwined! It's something that doesn't differentiate between caste, creed, religion. Doesn't matter if you are a city rat or rural kid, summer meant sucking over juicy mangoes.

Growing up we were surrounded by mango trees by the roadside and also orchards. Living on an institute's grounds, technically we couldn't pick them. If any were found on the ground then that was ok!

There was a tree right at the main intersection our school bus would pass. The teenagers would just stick their arms out of the bus window and see how many they could catch. It was easier apparently than climbing the tree!

Oh and climbing trees we did! I didn't. They did. In our group some would dare to climb the tree. But usually our slippers are sacrificed to break some fresh ripe mangos. Some times the slipper would get caught in the branch. Not willing to bear the brunt of mother's rap, the brave soul would risk being caught by campus security and climb up the tree to salvage his slipper and while he/she's at it grab a few mangoes too!

And we would eat some right there and then. Coming home to a lot of scolding from moms that would be heard everywhere. Some would pick the not ripe ones to eat and often would get bad burns on their lips. I think it's the acid in it? We weren't scared of the health effect on us, we were more scared of being caught red-handed by our mothers!

But it never stopped us from eating mangoes. And you sucked the stone dry! yum! The ripe mangoes were so juicy and succulent, they were eaten by hand, with juices flowing over your hands and all over your shirts. No forks, spoons, or cutlery could interfere in the enjoyment of mango eating. It was the best way to cool off in hot 90-100F summers!

As grown ups, we of course, cut it up a bit, but the fruit around the seed, no fork or spoon will clear it all and no wastage is allowed! mmm...so glad N found a crate of them brought home! They are so sour that D & I are loving it! N says his hair on his back is standing up! ha! 

oh this has to be the best Buzzfeed list so far! Spot on - 60 Things That Defined Your Childhood in India

Each and every item we did! oh what fun!!

Although have to say we never caught #3 around our house! Only tried those at friends' birthday parties. And never a fan of Thumbs Up but a Fanta & Limca fan!! mmm...

I have to say, never tried those "fake" candy cigarettes… see what a good girl I was?! :) 

Sometime ago echomyst had asked in my response to one of her posts, what books I had grown up with that have left an impression on me. As we are looking around for books that a toddler would be interested in, there are so many books that D enjoys. At the same time, I have also been looking for books in Telugu, my mother tongue for her to glance through and grow up with. When I asked my parents/family for some ideas they just drew a blank. 

D now can identify alphabets in the English language. I want her to also pick up the Telugu alphabets and I still am not able to find in book format (there are so many website for it, but we limit computer usage - actually she gets no time at the computer!!) for her to do so. 

They mostly laughed when they caught me reading to D from when she was 2-3 months (well, then it was just reading whatever I wanted to read that I would read aloud). And when she was 5-6 months old, I started bringing books home, since that's what we as good parents are encouraged to do by so many voices of authority. It's to help create an interest in reading, to help develop vocabulary. There's one study after another showing such to be the case. 

It made me look into how my interest in reading developed. We never attended story times at the library. In fact, we didn't even know what a library was. I wonder if there even was one where we grew up. We lived on the campus of my dad's institute. The library there was for big people who understood agricultural science. So, the image of library growing up was also a far-off place that we don't go to! 

But I grew up surrounded in books - none of which I could "read". But I constantly saw my dad reading 3-4 books at a time. I saw my mom reading too and writing poetry, essays as a hobby. It was when I was 4-5 years old when there were books I could read!

Most of the stories we were told that taught us lessons in life came out of the three epic stories - the Mahabharata, the Ramayana, and mostly the Bhagavat Gita and the many historic figures such as Jhansi ki Rani (my favorite heroine growing up), Mahatma Gandhi, King Ashoka, etc. And they were often were told orally by grandparents and granduncles/aunts! This was wonderful when you still lived in extended families. However, by our generations, we were living more in nuclear families and so often would only hear stories during our summer vacations when we would visit our grandparents or they would come visit us! 

So, for us, the Amar Chitra Katha was the best thing that could happen to any young Indian kid in those days! I have yet to meet any Indian my age who doesn't oohhh--ahhhh over their series! Just writing this is getting me all excited! OMGEXCITED! I don't even know how to pick a favorite!!

Amar Chitra Katha took the many stories from the three epics and made it into comics and stories that were kid-friendly! We would eagerly wait for every copy that arrived to read from page one to the end and reread them with such great interest! I think though out of all I love Tenali Rama stories - he was such a witty character! His poems were such fun!

The other books was the Panchatantra - that taught various life lessons! My paternal grandmother though was the best storyteller of this! 

And of course, our life was not complete without the world of Mandrake the magician, Phantom and other comics - which we read for fun!

N and I have begun collecting the above books for D. The only thing is they are all in English! I didn't realize till recently that while we were living in India, my parents brought me up in an English household! It wasn't till we left India and moved to Italy that our household language switched to Telugu! Funny, huh?! I think now they are coming up with books in Telugu and various Indian languages. 

It wasn't until I was 12 and was in Rome, that I discovered the wonderful world of libraries! I pretty much lived in it and submerged myself into the books of Agatha Christie and Nancy Drew!! I remember my English lit teacher got me to read Little Women and I abhorred the whole "girly" books I had labelled them as!! 

What a contrasting life D is living in. She has been to the library since she was 3 months old. She is surrounded with books with stuff she can relate to! No matter what the studies say, I believe the best way to get children interested in books is to model the behavior. For me reading was not a hobby, it was part of my daily life like brushing teeth and combing hair. It was a normal thing to do. I hope that's one thing in the world of books I could pass on to little D.

Yesterday evening I took D out to the lawn next to the pool area for her to hang out. She sits nicely on grass and pulls them all out. Thankfully she doesn't put any of it in her mouth. Only leaves. For some reason she differentiates discriminates between them! It was still a hot evening. The temperature was somewhere still at 90F (33C) at 7:30PM! I saw a bunch of our residents, all young ones probably in their 20s, hanging out in the pool. They were there all day. Baking and soaking. I was feeling a little aghast. But I thought back to when I was a kid...

Summers were/are hot in Hyderabad. It's not uncommon for temperatures to go beyond 40C. There were no AC units back then. Although, our houses where we lived came with one in the living room. It was a huge box that we had to water to get it to work continuously. We were privileged to have this because we lived on campus of an international institute. But we hardly used it. We were hardly home.

Summer vacations were the best! The campus where I grew up had around 20-30 families. All around the same age group. So, almost every home had children of different ages. Because campus was a secured area, our parents hardly ever worried about our safety. We would run all about the playground all over the institute grounds (1,390ha). It's an agricultural institute so there was/is a huge diversity of crops, trees, etc. Oh what fun it was! 

Even before moms and dads got up, we would have been up by 6am, brushed our teeths, got dressed and would run out the door to meet with other kids and take a long walk around the grounds. We would come back only around 8:30-9am, because we would be hungry. Have some thing to eat and then we would be out again. Most of the time, we would be at the swimming pool. If not the swimming pool, we would by the playground or just play whatever games. We would be out for another few hours. Around 11ish we would head home. Take baths. Have lunch. And rest at home in the afternoon. Usually my paternal grandmother would be staying with us. So she would tell us stories. If maternal grandpa and grandma were there, grandpa would give us some English or math lessons. Tata (grandpa in Telugu) also would teach us Telugu. Around 4 or 5pm, we would all go out again.

This time to the sandbox - yes, the one where you would practice long/short jumps. We didn't know that it was for that. For us, it was a patch of beach that transformed into castles with moats and rivers and mountains. A completely different world! Or we would play a game of dodgeball on the parking lot - a cemented road. We would use our shoes/sandals/slippers to form the boundaries. Of course, when any mom came out, we would all run to wear our shoes/sandals/slippers. 

Some days we would go pick fruits off of trees. Mostly mango trees, which is not allowed by the institute. So, it was always done under strict conditions. One would keep a lookout for the security, and the others would throw their slippers at the targeted fruit. Most of the time the slipper would get stuck on the branch and so someone had to climb the tree to collect it. And often picked and dropped the mangos from the branch. If the security came by, we would be found to be picking mangos that fell to the ground - completely acceptable! :D 

As the evening came, dads would come home from work. The "namaste uncles" would begin. And slowly mothers would venture out and the "namaste aunties" would commence. Uncles and aunties would go on their long evening walks, while we continued play. As the sun would set and they would return it would be time for us to head home too. But most of us didn't.

Around 7:00pm, all you would hear around campus are the moms in all different Indian languages, saying the same thing, "come home now!" and slowly leading to, "come home now or else!"

Once we were home, all washed up, it was time for dinner. Maybe half an hour of TV and time for bed.

That was our typical summer day. Once in a while my cousins would be over. But we would do the same thing with them. And on weekends, the exciting thing to do was go on a car ride!! and on the occasional Saturday or Sunday, we watched a movie! But otherwise it would be a lot of storytelling, lot of board games, lot of laughs. Good times!

I don't think D will have such an active lifestyle but hope she has one filled with warm and happy memories!

I have been poked and probed much in the last few months. Blood has been drawn, fingers have been poked. It might seem not too bad compared to others, but for those who have known me since young would know what a huge milestone I have overcome!

If you ask my mother if I was naughty/mischevious, or gave a lot of trouble, she would respond with saying that I was a great gal, except for two things, eating and going to the doctor. I just wouldn't eat apparently.

The second thing was going to the doctor's! Mostly out of fear of needles. I would be that kid you would need to drag kicking and screaming. Every summer we would need to get malaria shots, and that was a huge endeavour. One would think that I would have gotten used to it after the 10th year. The screaming stopped but not the crying. Apparently I would walk around holding my left shoulder, feeling it swollen in pain, a month before the shots were even given!!!

I did manage to overcome the fear when they had to prick me 23 times to find out what I might be allergic to when I was 12 years old. Mom was so shocked that I didn't shed one tear that she nearly fainted. I nearly fainted though, when I had to go get a blood test done on an empty stomach. Apparently, you don't do so well when you are underweight, fasting, and a whole test tube of blood is taken! But even that I did well, and mom didn't need to tag along, dad did - another accomplishments, as I somehow wouldn't let anyone but mom be my side.

When I went to college on my own in Hawai'i, the first semester we were there we needed to get TB shots (I don't remember the name of the vaccine, but it was a two dose shot). They were giving it free as the college seemed to have a trend of losing two international students to TB every year! So, everyone needed to be tested.

And there I went, into this big auditorium in line with several hundred students all in line filling out forms. I was too embarassed to tell my friends of my fear, and none of them were international students, and so went alone. I gripped the chair so hard and I remembered being so very afraid. That was in itself a milestone! The second shot wasn't so bad!

And yesterday, I went for a follow up blood test. A test-tube full and I didn't flinch one bit! A point the nurse had observed. I still can't look at her poking the needle in, but once it's in I am able to get the courage to take a peek - just a brief glance.

Yes, I am proud! I just hope that my kid doesn't end up being scared of everything as I was in my life! sigh... I am grateful to have a mother who always encouraged me to give life a try and gave me the courage that I needed to face the world. I hope if I do get a child like me that I have the same courage to be there for my little one!

Dad had the record - Thriller when we were in India. The record cover just looked so cool. We would hear his music ever so often! But it was at 13 that reminds me of Michael Jackson much more.

We were 13 years old. Our school in Rome participates in Earth Day every year. For that year we put on a show. We had multiple information booths plus a show! Each class had a performance to put on showcasing issues facing the world. Our class wanted to be cool and we picked Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror song as the music during our performance. We all were dressed in tight pants, jackets, hair down (more looking like the Jets in West Side Story..but yeah...). The story we told of was one of our classmates acting out all the things bad for the environment and the rest of us came out snapping our fingers like Michael, walking around convincing him to make the change! And miraculously of course, the classmate does! ;)

Anytime I hear Michael Jackson's name, I remember that song. It introduced me to the world of MJ! What a trajic story his turned out to be. May he now finally rest in peace!

I awoke this morning at 3:00am. What triggered it was N getting up to use the bathroom. After that I tried to get some more sleep. But I was tossing and turning and kept waking N up. So, I am here and now my stomach grumbles.

Which reminded me of the photo I recently discovered at my uncle/aunt's place in Mumbai. I don't ever remember seeing it even though I am the only one who really goes through all the albums at home regularly (although this changed once I moved away). I shared the photo with MIL to reassure her that I have never eaten all that much since youth.

If you ever ask my mom how I was as a kid. She will first smile and give a big sigh. She will then respond in a brief conclusion, "Smitha was a wonderful child. She just nevet ate." I would take hours to finish breakfast, which would be in time for lunch, etc. People would see my thin frame and chastice mom on not feeding me. Everyone would come home to take up the challenge to feed me (this was more when I was a toddler) and fail. It was a daily battle that mom wishes she didn't need to face. We laugh now, but mom didn't find it very amusing. It was a daily chore. People who wouldn't have seen me well into my teen years would ask my mom first, "Does Smitha eat well now?"! really.

The daily chore would ensue the following dialogue, in Telugu, with a pause of a minute between each instruction, "eat", "chew, ", "take out the food in your cheek and swallow." One day when I was maybe 4years old, mother saw me playing with a doll and diligently sharing the same set of instructions with the doll. Mom overheard and didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

This is the usual daily scene... I think this was when I was 9-10 years old.

 

Of course, once I left home and returned from college, mom saw a big difference. I was eating as if I hadn't eaten in years! But that was I think mostly because I missed mom's cooking more than anything. I sometimes see that sad/happy look on mom's face when she sees me savouring food like there's no tomorrow.

And now it's MIL. She feels I don't eat much. But really, I do. Although when I look at the photo and see the amount of rice, it baffles me I ate so much! I think that would be my whole lunch now!

But my stomach is growling and it needs to be fed! Mom would be ever so ecstatic... This trip she cooked up a feast, with the hopes that I will still eat a lot! It's a subject that is ever so senstive. Oh the pains I put her through.

oh dear... realised we have ketchup at home!! And bread next to it. So obviously one must toast up the bread and use the ketchup to make smiley faces on the bread and then consume it. It's missing mayo as there's none at home. But it's the ultimate snack. The bread is like 20-grain something... so at least a bit healthy!! :P This was sis & mine high school snack. We were nuts about it!! And a memory long forgotten till today!

Now we need some mayo.......

Back in 2002, I was volunteering at some exhibition held at the venue on Ala Moana Beach park (Hawai'i). I forget now what it was for, but there were a diverse group of exhibits all relating to health issues. I guess I was at environmental health booth. Next to us was a chiropractor or something related to the spine. I really forget now. But he was giving free spinal alignment checkup. He got a lot of people to get it done and was spending the day giving advice and trying to sign up some clients for future consulting. At the end of my shift I thought I would get it done. He was surprised to see how well aligned my spine was.

I give all the credit to mom. She spent almost ten years of our childhood drilling the importance of good posture into us. Even when we were in public, at events she would remind us to sit up straight. She would do this by making a fist, and rising the index finger mimicking the spine. The time this was done mostly was during our music classes. Our "band" of "musicians" consisted of the teacher who played the tabla and if the aunty (in the photo below) is not available the harmonium, mother with the shaking thing in the photo - corner top left (have no idea about the name), three of us on sitar (that's me on bottom left corner), and about ten kids (all girls for whatever reason) singing. She was known among my friends as "posture lady". Mom would raise her index finger and everyone would raise up! :)



I have to say though in the last few years, my posture has gotten worse. I slouch so much more and more often. I still picture in my head, my mother looking at me and her index finger rising to remind me.